He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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