have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
