FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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