All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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