You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
