Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
