Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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