hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize