Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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