Plan B is the new Plan A
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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