I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
