You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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