What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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