At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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