scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
