We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
