Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wear drunk well.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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