his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
