If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
