all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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