The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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