Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's shark week go big or go home
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
