you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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