Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
someone threw a dead crab at me
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she pinky promised me she was 18
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
