It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
