Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize