Christians are straight up FREAKS
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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