Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
