Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize