God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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