Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
