I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think your dad took our porno
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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