sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
