I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
