halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
me + whiskey = a bad person
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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