Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
