"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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