Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
