With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Pooping to opera.
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