oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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