yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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