I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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