In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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