I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
