It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
