it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
