Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize