He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
