I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize