I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
