What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
