Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
