Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry twiggy1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

Fav 2 1080 1026
share tweet
(858): View more from California

she takes plan B like it's going out of style

Fav 27 1135 3756
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.

Fav 24 2353 4335
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist

Fav 8 1833 967
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.

Fav 4 2008 993
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.

Fav 28 3346 922
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.

Fav 11 1660 1321
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(361): View more from Texas

I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...

Fav 1 981 650
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend

Fav 0 53 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT