They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
