Define "chronic" masturbator.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I love having hate sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You made out with two different species that night
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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