Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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