marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
