My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just want to make out with him forever
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
