Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize