Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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