dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
