Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
