Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
