NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
